Step 10 - Working Through Issues

Many of us don’t like disagreements and conflicts. But disagreements and conflicts are to be expected as part of the process of you figuring out how to live and relate to each other under one roof.  

 

Rather than avoiding conflicts, being prepared to navigate conflicts when they arrive can be really helpful. 

 

When conflicts happen, it is normal to feel hurt and defensive. Conflicts can be a stressful situation for everyone involved. It is okay to feel at a loss, or frozen, especially when it’s the first time that you and your guest are involved in a disagreement.  

 

Before tending to the conflict, knowing when you are stressed and how to put yourself at ease is crucial. It is difficult, and can be unhelpful, to deal with conflicts under pressure.  

 

If you need, schedule a later time to work out the conflict, and do things that help you to decompress first. Take a walk, deep breaths, go out. Put yourself in the right frame of mind to affirm the relationship, identify the issue, listen, work things out together, and seek help and move forward.  

 

Processing questions:  

How do you feel about conflicts and disagreements? How do you usually deal with them? Have a conversation with your family or community about this.  

 

What are some ways that you decompress? If you need a listening ear, who can you turn to for support?  

 

We might feel like we have failed, or feel responsible, if things do not turn out the way we hope despite our best efforts. What advice would you give to someone who is in this position?